Oh, otteoke . Oh vey. What to do, where to start.
Came here with the greatest intention of enjoying the campy and nostalgic feel of a classic late night SF sushi boat joint. Since these became extinct in the Western Addition (the water boat variety) I was in the mood for "not fancy" sushi. "Not fancy" sushi in my book means I wear elastic waist pants and don't put out for the bill to be paid. Bonus points for predictable pricing on ordinary items. Well bingo! They charge by the color of the plate so I don't even have to bring my brain out for this dine-out. What's not the love?! What's the worst that could happen?
I'll tell you.
The worst is that you call to see if they're still open and ask what time they close. The person on the phone says "it doesn't matter, we are open now." "And what time do you close?" "Just come now, it's okay. We are open."
I arrive and am told to sit anywhere but they plop my menu down at a specific seat at the bar. I take my menu and re-position myself away from the cold door and from between the two couples. I find a nice spot at the end of the sushi bar and settle in.
I am asked what to drink and order tea, asking if it is complimentary. Curt nod. I receive tepid tea. Some minutes later, the tourist group next to me ask the waitstaff if the tea is extra and are told it is. Grr. My cheap sweatpants night feels compromised already.
The boats move fast here. I don't know why. The fish has nowhere to go and seem to have been running in circles for hours. They could slow the pace a bit, it's not like the three-hour old selections are going anywhere. (Ooh, I'm sounding catty meow!)
I practice my lack of dexterity and pull what looks like a vegetable tempura handroll off the planks and onto my loading dock. The moment I felt the coldness of the soggy grease, I regretted my impulsive grab. One bite and I knew I would eat the price and save the calories as well as the potential food borne illness. Mind you, I have an iron stomach, but it is flu season after all.
Next up I grab what I feel are my go-to's: tuna and yellowtail nigiri. The tuna was so dyed that the rice looked like it cheated on vinegar and slept with beets for the evening. There was like beet juice lipstick all over its collar, calling out the tuna. That, my friends, I rarely see anymore even when I do eat economical sushi.
The yellowtail was stale, stiff, and after the tuna I didn't really trust its moral monogamy as a whole-based food either.
Because I was just in a ruminating mood by now and listening to the tourists complain about everything around me in different American accents and global languages, and because the waitstaff disappeared, I pulled one more dish off a fast-speeding boat-- one I hoped wouldn't compromise my immune system. It was an avocado roll that was so browned it tasted like banana. I think it worked a longer shift than the one sushi chef managing dishes at the helm.
Speaking of, he was moving diligently and consistently but there was nothing new on the boat trade route during my time there. Only once I asked for the bill did suddenly dishes come rolling out: avocado maki, two seaweed salads, fresher looking handrolls. Needless to say, I was p****d. When I work restaurants, we send that food as we get it done. When I dine at conveyor belt sushi, they send out item by item, not hoard a pile of them and send them out in a grand fleet of high-speeding boats.
I know this one is long and ranty but remember, it's sweatpants (oops athleisurewear) night and I was looking forward to some cheap but edible sushi and going to bed without makeup on.
So, I would be remiss not to mention: it is not cheap! 3 of my 4 small plates were priced at $5.95 and they didn't put the cheaper plates our until I had paid. The menu prices also don't reflect economical if you add sides of edamame, salad, apps, etc. I can get amazing quality handrolls and decadent spicy edamame at Happy Hour for under $5 across town; here it's $7.
Also, service sucked. It's not Japanese-run (not that I'm a stickler for these things) but the difference is night and day and the interactions are curt, rushed, vague, and unfriendly. One customer asked if they could order an item and was told to "just check the boats." When the customer insisted the item wasn't there the waitstaff walked away, shrugging.
All in all, the ambiance is unpleasant; the food itself was disappointing; the sushi chef was bafflingly slow; and the waitstaff is off-putting. The up charges and the prices do not even balance out for any exchange of fun tourist experience because the tourists around me looked pretty annoyed. It kind of feels like one of those places where everyone eats in silence or groups speak in passive aggressive language about how much money they're wasting. I think all of us were thinking of where we were going to get our Hobbitses second meal.
The End. (Cue violins). read more