Let me begin describing this train wreck by referencing the attached photos taken an hour before the buffet closed. In case the photos attached don't speak for themselves, and I think they do, here's something I hate about buffets: everything. I generally prefer ordering off a menu, but I paid $50 a night extra for my $1,100/nt room at the Fairmont to get "breakfast" included with my stay.
Before we hit the chafing dishes, I'd like to dish about the host. Day 1, I arrive at the buffet line at around 9:30. An hour before the "end" of the brunch buffet. The host informs me there's a 20-30 minute wait, although there are only a couple parties lingering in the Orchid Court waiting area.
I'm awfully cranky before I have my morning Joe, so pretending I was actually awake after an awful night's sleep, I asked her if coffee was included with the buffet, to which she replied certainly. I asked if I could get a cup of coffee from the barista standing behind her in the coffee bar, but she politely informed me that it would cost $6 to have the same coffee that comes with the brunch buffet if the barista pours it. Puzzling, but, I thought I needed a cup before the expiration of 20-30 minutes, so I asked Star Buck, the barista, for a large cup. Mr. Buck said, no charge if you're waiting for the buffet. I'm happy.
After some time passed and the caffeine was working its magic, it was showtime at the buffet. As buffets go, the Orchid Court's is very ordinary. It is somewhere in between the free breakfast at the Embassy Suites and Brennan's in New Orleans. Subtract the tuxedo-clad server and Bananas Foster and the fine cuisine. Okay, so it's a little closer to the Embassy Suites than Brennans, minus the French toast, pancakes, crepes, waffles, bacon, eggs benedict, potatoes, bagels, sticky buns, banana bread, donuts. There is; however, a dazzling display of empty chafing dishes, bread trays, and condiment bowls. But none of the things listed above.
What chafes me most about empty chafing dishes is this. If a buffet runs from 6:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., and I arrive at 9:30 a.m. I expect to receive the same value proposition as the guy or gal who arrives at 7:00 a.m. and the same value I received here 4 years ago. That includes all the stuff that's supposed to be served on a buffet at 7:00 WHENEVER I ARRIVE. And, in defense of the poor guy who shows up at 10:29 a.m., he should expect the same.
I developed my cynical distaste for buffets after years of taking my family on cruises. Most cruise lines have a ginormous room at the front of the boat called the Windjammer Cafe, where the buffet consists of regular breakfast fare alongside left-overs from last week's sailing. It's a crowded affair and not for the weak or faint of heart. You elbow fellow passengers for position by the bagel toaster and hover over the best tables with a view of the fork lifts on the dock loading the ship with canned turkey meat and bologna. I hate to take out my buffet frustrations out on the Orchid Court, but hey, they deserve it. Covid excuses are for Motel 6. Not Fairmont. If you can't serve your guests, shut your doors to guests until you can. There, I said it.
Unlike the Windjammer Cafe's sailing the warm aquamarine waters of the Caribbean, the Orchid Court is unable to hold up their end of the proposition. Windjammers keep the slop coming and never let a chafing dish go empty. They want you to eat enough cold pancakes that by dinnertime, you don't notice that Lobster night last year has now suddenly become popcorn shrimp night this year. Welcome to Orchid Court. Pay more, expect less.
Fairmont charged me well north of $1,200 per night for an outdated room (over $4K for 3 nts). I get it. That's about average these days. Granted, the view and weather is gorgeous, so nobody, but me is complaining. I see a lady complimenting the view from her table at Orchid Court. My point exactly. I would have been PERFECTLY SATISFIED ordering two eggs, an English Muffin, and coffee off the menu, but I certainly wasn't going to pay for that when the buffet is the only option offered with the "breakfast package".
I can get free coffee at the Lube n' Go down the street from my house, at school, in a hospital waiting room, at the county jail intake, but no morning coffee in the lobby of a luxury resort? Hmmm. Something's fishy here. Last week's mahi mahi on tonight's catch-of-the day special? Stay classy, Orchid Ct. read more