So it was a couple days before Halloween and Bae and I decided to go to Judge Dee's Haunted House down the street from this oyster shack. After getting scared by some really terrifying people in costumes, and shitting out all the bricks in our system, we got extremely hungry (also because the fact that none of us ate dinner yet and it was almost 10pm).
We were craving for so many things: noodles, rice, bread, any food you can think of, so clearly we had a minor dilemma. We kept asking each other "Uhm..Where shall we go?" and the other would reply "Iono, anything.."
This went on for about 3 minutes until bae said.."Mmmmmm I kind of want oysters" and I immediately agreed because my acute hunger was creeping up on me. I suggested we go to Rodneys but bae immediately shut that down because she said there was a secret oyster shack just up the block from the haunted house. So we drove 2 minutes up the block and there it was. Oyster Express.
First of all, this shack is literally a shack. It occupied the tiniest corner or the street, one side facing a park, the other facing a Chinese supermarket. They even had halloween decorations. +2 points for the creepy skull placed in one of the windows. Walking in, first impression was, "This place is so cramped!"
but you can't blame them for being a tiny corner store. Anyway, our server Jalene (we didn't know her name yet at this point, so keep reading), quickly greeted us and allowed us to pick our own seats. She came back with 2 menus and gave us a minute to take a look at everything. After quickly scanning the menu, and looking at the specials, we were still confused as we had no experience with all the types of oysters they had on their menu, in addition to the the non-existent description of each. Bae and I decided to take advantage of the night and making it romantic, by partaking in having a glass of wine each. But again, as a couple who has no experience in wine, we were so very lost.... BUT, that is where Jalene comes along. She comes back with some water and asked if we had questions. We had tons of questions. What are the differences between this oyster and that oyster. What does each one taste like. How big are the oysters. What are the specials. What does the name of this wine mean? etc etc. Jalene was a little flustered at first, but she definitely gave it her all. She answered every single one of our questions, although she was a little unsure about the wine pairings, but that's okay. So we ended up with two glasses of some Sumac Ridge Chardonay[?] as well as about 6 oysters, 2 of each kind of the ones Jalene recommended.
The wine came out first and Bae and I wanted to make it look like we were professional wine drinkers in front of the others, so we consciously swirled our glasses, and sniffed the wine, looking like a fine pair of classy bourgeois. The wine was not sweet, just like how we wanted, thanks to Jalene's recommendation. And soon after that, the oysters came out. The oysters were presented with grated horseradish, and a couple wedges of lemons. They also came with tobasco, spice-infused vodka, minionettes[?], and some kind of cocktail sauce. We tried the oysters without the sauces first and the were absolutely delicious.. The Kushi were nice and small, with a hint of ocean, and extremely smooth. The Effinghams were SOOOOO good, small sized, but so rich and creamy, it melted in your mouth. We then tried the sauces, and was a little disappointed with the vodka as it was kind of bitter and weird. Instead we ate the oysters with the cocktail and the minionette. The cocktail sauce tasted like average cockstail sauce. But... The minionette was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. The flavor was oniony but not too oniony, sour but not too sour. It was just right. Anyway, because it was so good, we ordered more oysters, we ordered Komomuras from Washington, and a variety from PEI. The Komomuras were really small and plump. The texture and size was similar to the Kushi but the taste was like the Effingham, it was a double whammer. The PEI oysters were so cool, the flesh was literally flat as a piece of paper and it tasted a lot saltier than the other kinds but there was no ocean taste at all; a very interesting must-try variety.
So by the end of the night, Bae and I were a little tipsy and at this point, Jalene became one of our best friends after we found out she watched Happy Endings, by her identifying Bae's reference of "The oysters were so 'a-mah-zing' ". It was truly a wonderful moment. That was when we asked for her name for this review, and to thank her for making that night something Bae and I will always remember. read more