America is the home of a unique sociological phenomenon. Dubbed The Fat Girl Effect, it can be most succinctly described as a female herding behavior and can be observed in a wide array of social settings.
All the guys out there know exactly what I'm talking about. Within every group of hot girls, there is one fat chick (aka Loxodonta Americana Feminae). The hotter the hotties, the fatter the fat chick.
Generally, the fat chick is the squad leader and gate keeper of the pack. All decisions are passed through her and her word is bond. She is constantly coddled and rarely questioned. Any threat to the fat chick will be handled in a decisive and aggressive manner by the herd. No transgressions will go unpunished. In fact, it's been said that hell hath no fury like a fat chick scorned. If you don't believe me, just go hang around a McDonald's when it's sold out of McFlurry's.
Most guys see the fat chick as an obstacle and for good reason. More often than not, the fact chick is loud, sweaty, and obnoxious. It's a tough sell, especially in warmer climes, and it can make for a long evening of annoying banter and loud braying.
However, those of us with more savvy in the ball game arena know the true score. The fat chick can be a serious road block, but she can also be the key to a successful evening of courting.
If you're nice to the fat girl, then the hot girls will be significantly more likely to ignore your personal flaws and view you in a positive light. With each subsequent smile or laugh you generate from the fatty, you start to seem a little taller, a little more handsome, and a little more suave. Watch the hotties' faces light up as their appreciation of your sensitivity and kindness grows with each passing bon mot. With enough time and dedication to the fat chick, you can rest assured that you will be going home with the hottie of your choice. It's a slow play, but it always pays in the end.
The managers of Rouge know this strategy well and, with some outside the box thinking, they employed it against yours truly in early September
I was out and about with my pooch, looking for a dog-friendly venue where I could have a quick drink. Rouge was really my only choice as it had one seat left and Parc had none, so I hesitantly saddled up certain that I was in for a less than satisfactory experience.
I've always had mixed feelings about Rouge. It has many undeniable positives - great locale, interesting people, terrific ambiance, and outdoor seating - but I've always had trouble looking past the negatives. In my opinion, it's overpriced. The food is good, but it's not THAT good and the portions are small. I understand that smaller portions are inherent in gourmet grub, but Rouge takes this axiom to the extreme. Furthermore, my girlfriend insists on ordering the Cheese Plate every single time we go there. It's mediocre at best, yet it costs $18. Please.
So I was ok with my decision to sit at Rouge, but not thrilled.
My pooch is cute as a button, but she is young, she is hyper, and she is annoying. Much like the fat chick of my little herd, she can be tough to deal with...but she runs my life, makes all of our decisions, and if she loves you, then I love you.
I was absolutely floored when, instead of treating her with disdain as I had anticipated, my waitress rolled out the doggie red carpet. Without even asking she brought over a bowl of water and even went so far as to give my little pooch a treat. So sweet. Instantly my heart melted and my guard dropped. With two simple gestures of kindness and empathy, my waitress had ensured that I would forever ignore all of Rouge's flaws, enjoy a splendid evening with my pooch, and leave feeling nothing but positive vibes for the establishment.
My 5-star review has little to do with food or drink and everything to do with their treatment of my fat chick-esque friend. We will go back now, many times I'm sure.
So let this be a lesson to us all. If you feed the fatty, the hotties will love you. read more