WATCH OUT! I gotta vent!
This place I now call the Christian Science Reading Room with caffeine. (And white flour products) which are sometimes too dry. Get the soup.
Yeah, I am breaking my usual pattern of sticking with local joints in the Mid City area because sometimes I have to say stuff that has to do with the twisted culture we live in. Okay. Organizing my own twisted thoughts.
Thought 1: this is a public place with good food, okay coffee (not as good as Groundworks) and pretty interior decor. It's near my kid's school and not on the main drag. I like it!
Thought 2: "Wow, let's have our board of directors meetings here, etc. Great ambiance and close to stuff. " Thought turns to action.
Incident One:
Took action on thought 2.
And 10 minutes into the meeting (of 3 adults over 40) a mysterious hiss of SHHHHH! from across the room.
Two of us inquired, "Um, what? Did someone say Shh? Talking to us or...?"
Then a cronish woman with orange hair on a lap top decided to own it. As if we had insulted her, "I can hear you! I can hear your entire conversation!"
Of course. That is because you are in the Christian Science Reading Room with caffeine.
I glided over to the from counter asking in the nicest way (and I didn't want to be nice) "Are we not supposed to talk here?"
Manager said, "The study area is upstairs. Of course you can talk."
But the feeling was gone, the bubble was burst and our meeting disbanded, once your are scolded in front of a group of strangers....ick, Bad girls!!
Incident Two:
A month later, I go back to Caffeinated Christian Science Reading Room with my lap top and decide to become one of....THEM. This time I will not be shamed for talking in a coffee house because I have joined the Code of Silence. And then....
SNAG: Who do I see, writing on her lap top....someone I know well - and who, when I usually see her, is warm and loud and open and bla bla bla. I see she is writing - so I hold off greeting her. I plug in my lap top and wait for my caprese sandwich (affordable and tasted ok)
Food Buzzer Vibrates.
Aforementioned Friend hears buzzer, darts an eye up...in fact everyone looks up because in the Christian Science Reading Room with Caffeine, any slight noise is an anomaly and seriously frowned upon.
I now smile at my "friend", even dared utter a word, "Hey D.....!"
Before I could turn away to show her I'm not there to schmooze. she throws me a tense "better than" smile - points to iMac and says.....
"This is my precious time."
AHHH ! Ok. So. a. Out in pubic PLUS b.in a community where you know everyone... EQUALS c: I want to be seen and am a total jerk.
What is it about this place, its cool brick walls, leather couch, and self automated cucumber water that turns ordinary people into ASSHOLES?
Is it because it is half a block from the Main Larchmont Drag and their Entitled White Man Aura vapor has crossed Beverly onto Northern most Larchmont? (and don't get me started on Cafe Gratitude).
Not five minutes later, same "friend's" cell phone rings. Not a ping or a soft bell, but one of those loud 1960 jarring land phone rings! She dare let it ring in this "sanctuary" - not once, twice, but THREE times. I guess the pearls of wisdom she was writing couldn't wait and the ringing could. Of course she ANSWERS it and proceeds to talk in a loud low voice so that all the quiet people could hear that she was wanted at a "shoot". What the hell?
The workers at Bricks and Scones aren't rude narcissists. So why should the patrons be?
And correct me if I am wrong, but weren't coffee houses the early hubs of revolutions and movements and stimulating conversation? After all, we're caffeinated (aka drugged). Why are we not aloud to meet live with each other, look other people in the eye, drink coffee and talk to each other without some crone in orange hair shrieking for us to shut up? If this place is a "Study" house, then it needs to come out and say so. I thought that was what the Library was for. But libraries are loud now, so this is all very confusing to me. Is it just a part of 2012 and that shift? Coffee houses are libraries and libraries are homeless shelters that also have access to porn?
I hope this lap top trend isn't happening at Cafe Landtmann or any of the gorgeous Kaffeehauses in Vienna where great minds met to be inspired (and read the paper). As for me, I will stay a regular at Groundworks, where the huddled masses of L.A. Film School students, homeless barefoot men, aging bloggers and Zine editors and random people meeting with random people who might hire them in that moment, are all under one roof with Pennywise blasting in the background at 8:30 AM and Oscar will see me and hold up 4 fingers to test if I want 4 shots in my latte. And I can cry, laugh, write and talk to everyone in there without an iota of "shhh". And the ONLY thing frowned on are cell phones and the people who scream into them.
Go where the love is, people. read more