If you were going to make the worst conference hotel possible, what would you do? Have no clear entrance so that people wouldn't know where they should enter? Create a unknowable labyrinth of meeting rooms so that everyone requires a map or trail of breadcrumbs to figure out where they are going? Funnel hundreds/thousands of attendees through choke points and between two separate buildings with limited connections that prevent anyone from getting anywhere quickly and easily? Have some conference rooms two levels below ground level and some three floors above, requiring a combination of escalators and long elevator lines to travel between them? Boy are you tough.
I'll do you one better - how about this: you travel from your hometown all the way to Chicago, you take the "L" because traffic from O'Hare is terrible, you walk the few blocks to the hotel during a classic Chicago winter. My guess is that you would want a nice, comfortable room to be waiting for you. My special torture would be to make you go across the skyway to a room all the way in the second tower (remember, no ground floor entrance) then you get to the room, open the door, and boom - you see a couple of cleaning rags on the floor and the couch. I'm guessing that you'll be so tired at that point that you want to pretend that they aren't there so you can avoid going downstairs to change rooms - I couldn't blame you. You would then notice that the room wasn't really vacuumed, and when you realized that you didn't want to place your hat on the counter because it seems to need a good dusting, that would be pretty bad, right? Wow that seems stressful. Maybe you should go take a quick swim to relax and de-stress. Ha! No swim for you - there's no pool here. Since you can't swim, you may want to do something fun on the internet instead. Ok, you can - just note that there is a $40 (US) charge for internet access that works in your room and the meeting rooms.
By now, you may have realized that like a classic Law and Order episode, this review is based on a true story. Unlike Law and Order, every single word of this is exactly what happened and no names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Now, with an experience like that, how could the place get two stars? It seems like I would want to give negative stars for that experience. First, the main lobby is under construction, so some of those access issues are understandable, although the poor signage on the outside is still inexcusable. On the other hand, there are some good things here - the magnetic door keys are an advancement that I would want to see everywhere, and the modern decor in the rooms is attractive. Most importantly, after I called about the condition of my room, they upgraded me to a room on the 33rd floor with a nice view. I was only there for 24 hours, but I as worn out by the experience. The reason that tipped me over to two stars? An apologetic email from the housekeeping manager apologizing for the poor condition of the room.
Coincidentally, I'll be coming back here for another conference just next month - we'll see if my rating changes.
Update:
I'm here for that next conference in April 2013 and the aesthetic change is remarkable. The new layout in the main building works well - it's bright and airy with several bars and restaurants, including a sports bar above the entrance with one of my new favorite layouts - a row of TVs in front of massive windows with the Chicago skyline in the background. Each of the large tables has its own TV where you can change the channels from your seat - a great design.
Unfortunately, although it's early in this conference, I can see the same issues evolving with navigation - none of the conference facilities changed with the remodel, so it will again be tough to get from session to session when this place fills up.
I decided to stay at the Sheraton across the river after my last experience here, but I might rethink that decision if I have another conference here again. I haven't heard complaints from colleagues here about unclean rooms, so one more star for the Hyatt. read more