"We are challenged to provide both elements of the Porky's Pizza formula...a unique high-end pizza menu AND the fast delivery service...for a price that you the customer is willing to pay. We use top grade expensive ingredients and our hand preparation and fast delivery to your door is labor intensive." -Porky's Pizza website
Wow! After reading that, I had to try this place. There is even a ticker at the top that touts Porky's as the best pizza in Orange County. So I peruse the menu on the website and what do I see? A standard selection of various Italian dishes such as Buffalo Wings and Garlic Knots for appetizers, Antipasto Salad, Caesar Salad, etc., and, of course, the pizzas. The pizzas are listed by type: The Special (which has everything), The Veggie, The All Meat, The Hawaiian, and more. Underneath that, the Specials are listed: one extra large 2 topping pizza, salad, and 2 liter bottle of soda for $21.99, two medium 1 topping pizzas for $17.99, and more. Now everything on the menu has a price. Well, everything except for the PIZZAS! Now that's strange, isn't it? Looking at the Specials, I use my trusty arithmetic that I learned back in the 1st grade to figure that if 2 medium pizzas were $18, then 1 should be about $9 or $10, plus some extra toppings could make it about $13 or $14.
So I call up Porky's and a rather polite gentleman answers the phone. "Will this be for pickup or delivery?" he asks. I indicate delivery, and he asks for my telephone number. After I give it to him and he doesn't find it in the database, he inquires if it is my first time. I reply that it is, and he asks how I heard about this place. Judging from the polished delivery, I assume he is either 1) the owner or 2) the manager, because I've never had a pizza store employee be so diligent with the order process in such a polite manner. We get through all of the details such as address and cross streets, and I order the Porky's Special. He asks if I want Medium, Large, or Extra Large? I opt for the Medium, and then he asks if I would like to add any Garlic Knots or dessert? He has to be the boss, because the up sell technique was extraordinary, delivered with a finesse that no mere employee could give. Before I decide, I inquire as to the price of the medium Porky's Special Pizza. The answer about floored me: $18.12 with tax and delivery! Wha-Wha-What?!!!!
Why, I do declare, Mr. Beauregard! That's the most expensive medium pizza I've ever heard of! This certainly must be the Rolex of pizzas. I decline the Garlic Knots, and wrap up the order. I was told to expect delivery in about 45 minutes! So much for "fast delivery that is labor intensive," considering I live less than 3.5 miles away.
After an eternity, my doorbell finally rings. PIZZA'S HERE!! I answer the door, take care of the bill, and bound into the room and get ready to unleash the best pizza in Orange County. I open the box, and what do I see?
An average looking pizza, at best. The veggies are just thrown on top, and not even baked into the cheese. This results in the messiest pizza meal ever, as the toppings keep falling off of the pizza. The crust is a chewy, pan-type crust, but not soft-on-the-inside-crispy-on-the-outside pan. Just chewy. If I wanted chewy, I would have gone to the Mos Eisley Cantina and hired the Millenium Falcon. What the frigg is this? Now to be fair, the pizza didn't taste bad. But the BEST pizza in Orange County? I think not. If I gave this pizza to an Italian and told him it was the Best Pizza In Orange County, he would bite his thumb at me and then declare a vendetta against the whole county.
Needless to say, I was extremely disappointed with the $20 medium Porky's Special. But it was still better than the $5 Little Caesar's cardboard-with-sauce-and-cheese special. read more