I have been here many times. This legendary place has massive pros, and massive cons. It is a thing unto itself, and there is almost no way to give it a fair across-the-board rating. Before I get into pros and cons, a kind of overview:
- The Chart Room is a converted barge on one of the most expensive Marinas on the upper cape. Spectacular sunset views over Red Brook Harbor, plus outdoor bar with Adirondack chairs, plus the built-in crowd of yacht owners, means there is very little price-pressure. This is a special place, that is going to be packed all summer long, and they can charge whatever they want..
- It looks, feels, and sounds like something out of an old movie. Especially at night, when the white-haired crowd sings along to WWII-era standards played on piano and upright bass, and the hanging lights and dapper white people and the surrounding water and sailboats, it's the kind of place they don't make anymore.
- There are no fryers (they cannot update the structure to accommodate the necessary fire-suppression and ventilation for modern safety codes). The core menu is either brutally or brilliantly retro. You order a main course, then select starch and vegetables from trays they bring around. It is like eating out in the Madmen era. Most of the best stuff is usually on the extensive list of daily specials.
Onto pros and cons, cons first:
- The staff is seasonal, and it shows, sometimes. Service can be VERY uneven, especially at crunch-time, and especially if you get a young, seasonal newbie. Other times, you get an old salt who handles things brilliantly.
- The million-dollar views and timeless ambiance are offset by dimestore tableware, paper placemats, rickety tables, lawn-chair seating, barge-quality bathrooms, and very crowded, noisy dining areas. This is either half the fun and charm, or a bothersome annoyance, depending what kind of night you are in the mood for.
- Waits can be VERY long, even with a reservation. Without a reservation, people arriving at 6pm can expect to be seated at around ~9pm in peak season. If you are in for a boozy night of drinking on the marina and eating free goldfish outdoors, you will have a great time. If you show up hungry and not interested in pre-game cocktails, you will be grouchy by the time you are actually seated.
- No fryers, and mediocre sides. No french fries, no fried clams, generic house salad, choice of baked, rice, or mashed, and two steamed vegetables to choose from.
- The cheaper end of the menu tends towards mediocrity. Example: the "Chart Room Surf & Turf" is a hot dog and a stuffed clam. Mediocre burgers, etc.
Pros:
- The expensive, old-school entrees are unbeatable for a taste of the cocktail-culture high-life.
- Their baked-stuffed lobster is one of the few places left that actually stuffs the meat from one lobster, into another lobster. Lightly-breaded and baked until crispy, this is old-school high-life cuisine, and how baked-stuffed should be done. And not a bad deal at $35.
- There is always at least one special with the death-defying Lobster newburg sauce. Usually a perfectly-baked, huge fillet of scrod, with devastatingly rich and mild newburg containing massive chunks of Lobster, usually around $30. This is food that nobody else serves anywhere, anymore.
- Brilliant, faultless chowder.
- Very well-prepared steaks, the perennial anchovy-buttered swordfish, and excellent, moderately-priced wine list (albeit served in bad glassware).
- An authentic, un-pretentious, deeply old-school ambiance and environment that is hard to find outside of Europe or black-and-white movies. This is a million-dollar restaurant that emerged gradually and naturally, without the interference of million-dollar branding consultants or chi-chi celebrity chefs. It's an authentic throwback, the real deal, a personal vision, complete with live old-people music played on un-amplified piano and upright bass. They don't make them like this anymore: they can't afford to.
The verdict:
The Chart Room is a thing from a bygone era, a place to go when you are not keeping track of the time or the bill, and not making judgments based on "value" comparisons to other restaurants, or to other restaurants generally. The expensive side of the menu offers old-school New England cuisine that cannot be got elsewhere at any price. The cheaper side of the menu offers mediocre fare with few concessions to modern tastes. Expect to wait and to drink mudslides or vodka-tonics on the marina. Expect spectacular sunset views from an old barge with no air-conditioning. Expect difficult parking and a long pre-dinner cocktail hour on the marina.
Plan on meeting lots of boozy, friendly, older white golfers and boaters in shorts and flip-flops. Plan on spending 3 hours and ~$80 per person after drinks and tip. Plan to order from the expensive side of the menu, and for the entree and drinks to make up for the mediocre accompaniments. Order the chowder. read more