I don't know how it turned out this way, but somehow along my life I've picked up a lot of friends who grew up in south city. They're all nice people, and have the best intentions, but for the most part seem to be indoctrinated into what I like to call "the cult of south city".
And just like most of the buildings built in south city, members of this cult are stuck in a 50's-60's mindset of how things are, and how they aught to be. Sometimes this is VERY good, and fun, and cool, such as the idea that neighbors should actually, ya know, talk to each other, and *gasp* even socialize with each other, and even lend a helping hand if someone needs it *faint*. Being in the cult of south city carries heavy demands, such as going balls-to-the-wall when decorating your house for holidays, making sure your children wear the best t-shirts money can buy, and out-gardening the old woman across the street, no matter how much effort it takes.
The people of south city are extremely proud of their institutions, particularly around St. Louis Hills. Millions come to worship at the church of Ted Drewes, and the Catholic Supply Store is known nationwide for having all the cheap (and expensive) catholic crud you can handle. Heck, even new places like TFA already seem to be an institution, since they recycle stuff from the 50's and 60's anyway.
But what the members of the south city cult won't admit, the thing they fear most, is that some of these institutions are junk. Don't say it too loud, or else they'll turn on you and chase you to the county (100 yards away) where you belong. Sure, TFA and Ted Drewes are f-ing awesome, but do you know who's NOT awesome? *looks around quickly and whispers*
Mom's Deli
That's right, Mom's Deli, aka the 1st place that anyone from St. Louis Hills will tell you to eat lunch. Most times, if you ask how it is, instead of answering with a food-related sentence, they start out by saying "Well, back in high school....." RED FLAG ALERT!!! I don't want to know what you wore on a date there 16 years ago, just tell me which sandwich to get!
It seems like most of the excitement concerning Mom's Deli have very little to do with the food, and mostly to do with the experiences surrounding the food. I mean, this is a local neighborhood low-profile deli. It's where you grab lunch with your dad when he doesn't want to go someplace nice. It's where you take your little league team for a cheap lunch. It's where you take your date because you have no place else to go. It's kind of one of those places.
And so you might think "So what? Ted Drewes is that sort of place, and it rules!". Aha, you are very perceptive. However, let me say that the proof is in the pudding. Ted Drewes uses top quality ingredients and is one of the best places to get ice cream (ahem: CUSTARD) in the St. Louis metro area. It just also happens to be all those other things. Mom's Deli, on the other hand, uses the cheapest crap it could possibly get away with.
Yeah, sandwiches are $6. But what kind of sandwich is it? You get a soft baguette, and grocery store-quality meat, cheese, and toppings. Not even boar's head quality, which isn't all that great to begin with. It's nothing special, nothing extra, nothing worth writing home about. This sandwich defines "average" in just about every way possible. People stand in line for 15 minutes to a half hour to get their hands on a cheap, bland sandwich. Every time I pass Mom's, I feel like holding up a bullhorn and screaming "GO TO SCHNUCKS, IT'S CHEAPER AND JUST AS BAD!"
And to the people who say "Yeah, the line's long, but it moves fast", I'll simply answer: No it doesn't. I've stood in that line a half dozen times, and each time the place has been staffed with teenagers who work in slow motion, and often have to ask 3-4 times while they're making the sandwich for the customer to repeat their order. If the line is halfway out the door, you're going to wait 15 minutes. If it's out the door, at least a half hour. And for a mediocre sandwich, it is completely not worth it.
As of today, I was officially done with Mom's. I figured I'd give it one more chance before I wrote a review, and once I saw the line, comprised entirely of teenagers, I knew my time had come. I threw off the shackles of the south city cult, walked out the door, and freed myself. I was a grownup. I was done with crummy low-grade sandwich shops like Mom's. I drove straight to ole reliable, Protzel's, where I was greeted with a smile, quick service, and another spectacular sandwich, none of which I've ever received at Mom's Deli. read more